Homily: Yr B Proper xx, Nov 15 2015, St. Albans
Readings: 1 Sam 1.4.20; 1 Sam
2:1b-10; Heb 10.11-25; Mark 13.1-8
“Worthless”
“You are worthless.” I hope you’ve never been told that. But my fear is that many of us either
directly, or perhaps more subtly, have been told, more than once, in a whole
variety of ways, that we are worthless.
And when someone is given that message again and again, it eats away at
them. When our worth is questioned
repeatedly by the world around us, we can’t help but start to question it
ourselves.
Hannah has been told that she
is worthless. Everyone tells her she is
worthless. Her whole society, her whole
culture tells her that a woman who does not bear children is incomplete. Useless.
Cursed by God. Worthless.
And that eats away at
Hannah. Being told you’re worthless
causes huge psychological and spiritual damage.
It is not a damage that can be healed by positive thinking or a stiff
upper lip. It is a persistent, unsettled
ache. Listen to the words used to
describe Hannah in today’s Old Testament reading, listen to the words she uses
to describe herself. She weeps,
bitterly. She will not eat. She is deeply distressed, deeply troubled, in
misery, with great anxiety. She pleads
with those around her, “Don’t regard me as worthless.”
Not only does Hannah feel
worthless, not only does she suffer from anxiety and depression as a result,
but she is both misunderstood and abused by those who are closest to her. Her husband Elkanah is trying, I suppose, to
help, but he is at best a clumsy oaf who just doesn’t get it. “Why are you sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” Well, no actually it’s not about you, Elkanah. Elkanah’s second wife, Peninnah, the one he
was allowed to marry because Hannah wasn’t able to do what a wife should do,
she sees Hannah as a rival and torments her with her worthlessness. And even the priest Eli, who God knows should
do better, when he sees Hannah praying at the temple, he accuses her of being
drunk. There is only one it seems, who actually
sees Hannah for who she is.
God sees Hannah, the one the
world says is worthless, praying at the temple.
And God says, “I choose you.”
In our own day, we no longer
see someone who is infertile as cursed by God.
It is still a serious problem and often a source of great sadness, but
hopefully, not a cause for feelings or accusations of worthlessness. But we still struggle with questions of worth
in our own time. Social stigma around
mental illness and unemployment come to mind.
Self-esteem issues that relate to body image among teenagers. And to stay with today’s theme of women’s
stories, think about women at home with children. What are the messages that they get from us,
from our culture?
“Why don’t you put your
children in daycare so that you can get a job?”
“Do you go back to bed when
your kids go off to school in the morning?”
These daily reminders of the
loss of income, of prestige, of independence that go with staying at home do
their part in chipping away at the sense of worth of those people, mostly women
and some men, who stay at home with their kids.
And too often, even those closest to them misunderstand, and like Hannah’s
clumsy oaf of a husband Elkanah, say completely the wrong thing. I know, I’ve been that clumsy oaf of a
husband on too many occasions.
When we consider the
patriarchal world of the Old Testament, it’s pretty amazing that we find the
story of Hannah right at the beginning of the book of Samuel. The book of Samuel is the story of the rise
of Israel, the story of a tribe which goes from being a fragile, corrupt,
disorganized people threatened on all sides to a strong nation under the great
king David. And that story begins with
Hannah. God chooses Hannah to begin the
story of the rise of Israel and the beginning of the Davidic line, a story which
in turn gives rise, after many twists and turns along the way, to the birth of
Jesus, and therefore to our story as well.
Despite her struggles with
self-worth, despite her struggles with mental illness, Hannah turns to God. In
the depth of her distress, Hannah chooses not to be resentful towards Elkanah
for his misunderstanding, nor to strike out angrily at her rival Peninnah. She didn’t do a Sarah, Abraham’s barren wife
who in the book of Genesis insisted that Abraham send his child-bearing wife
Hagar into exile. Instead, Hannah rose and presented herself to the Lord. She was deeply distressed and she wept
bitterly but she took her concerns to God, in prayer, at the temple. And God uses Eli, the insensitive priest, to
assure Hannah that her prayer has been heard. Knowing that God has heard her,
Hannah’s sense of worth is restored, and her countenance is sad no longer.
And you know, this is really
the heart of the gospel isn’t it? That no
matter our fears and our weaknesses, no matter what the world around us says
about our sense of worth, no matter what we believe about our own worthiness,
when we turn to God, God sees and God hears and God says to us, you are
valuable and beautiful and wonderful in my eyes. I want you as my child and I
choose you. And that changes everything.
It certainly did for Hannah. We
get to see that great transformation play out in her story. She is sad no longer. God chooses her to bear a son. Hannah receives her son as a gift from God,
and she in turn, astonishingly, gives her son Samuel back to God a few years
later, bringing him to live with Eli at the temple. The boy Samuel will grow up to be the key
figure in the rise of Israel, the last of the judges of Israel, one of the
greatest of Israel’s prophets and the one who anoints David as king.
And Hannah’s story doesn’t end
with the birth of her son, the prophet.
She too becomes a prophet, and her prophetic song is the one we used as
our psalm today. It is a song of joy and
of strength, the song of a changed woman, a song that attests to God as the one
who brings transformation to our lives and to our world, who makes the feeble
strong, who feeds those who are hungry, who raises the poor from the dust and
who breaks the bows of the mighty. We
will hear another song much like it in a few weeks when we enter the season of
Advent and hear once more the song of Mary.
Our God is a God who does
remarkable things, who chooses those who are weak and worthless in the eyes of
the world to begin new stories, stories of hope, stories of change, stories of
joy, stories of redemption. If this
world is ever getting you down, and it will sometimes, and if people ever say
or do things that make you question your own worth, and they will sometimes,
and if you’re ever troubled by sadness and anxiety, if you ever feel
misunderstood, remember the story of Hannah.
Hannah turned to God in her
distress, and God said “I choose you.”
And with those words, the new
story begins.
Amen.